这篇文章帮我看看那里有错误My travel I had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days. The air was so clean and fresh. There was a blue sky above our head. And we could not see any white cloud. Many trees stood by the both side of the road. What a

这篇文章帮我看看那里有错误My travel I had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days. The air was so clean and fresh. There was a blue sky above our head. And we could not see any white cloud. Many trees stood by the both side of the road. What a
这篇文章帮我看看那里有错误
My travel
I had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days. The air was so clean and fresh. There was a blue sky above our head. And we could not see any white cloud. Many trees stood by the both side of the road. What a beautiful place!
On these 3 days, we went to many beautiful places. I like the blue sea very much. The golden sand, the large sky and the lively sea! Overlooked the beach, you could see the sky was connected to the sea. Usually, there were many white lines moving to the beach very fast. But when it was nearing to you, you will find it a wave! It was very easy for you to drink a bite of salty water! It is still a terrible thing for me!
Also, the weather there was very anomalous. The rain usually last for a few minutes, then there must be a sun show up right now. It always troubled me. Because I must take my umbrella when I went out. The wind also blew strongly. Though it was trouble, I am so excited. Do you know, I saw a rainbow when I was standing on the beach.
I like this travel very much.

这篇文章帮我看看那里有错误My travel I had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days. The air was so clean and fresh. There was a blue sky above our head. And we could not see any white cloud. Many trees stood by the both side of the road. What a
I had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days这是客观事实为什么要用had呢?
The air was so clean and fresh这是客观事实所以要一般现在时
以下形容那个地方的都应该是一般现在时
had a travel to YangJiang for 3 days这个应该严谨一点,下文出现了we所以最好交代以下和朋友或是和家人什么的.
除了时态,没什么太大错误,对于你这个14岁的小姑娘~我觉得你不妨在表达上下下功夫,像“Do you know,I saw a rainbow when I was standing on the beach.”这句,感觉很乏味,没意思.你不妨表达一下can you imagine that i was standing on the beach when the raibow over the sky“你能想象,当我站在沙滩上的时候,头上有一弯彩虹吗?”表达的时候把个人感情色彩放在里面,在环境描写上带着个人感情色彩会很有味道,同样在写语文作文的时候也一样.第一段表达有些生硬,你可以用简单的一两句话表达,这样显得有些啰嗦.倒数第二段的Also有问题,你可以用些“what's more...besides"之类的转折词.这个不用太在意,平时多积累就行.跟老师沟通沟通吧,不用太刻意,平时多练练,主要是语感.像多用被动语态什么的,现在做好了,到高中写应作文很轻松的.没事写一篇,也费不了什么劲,让老师给你改.语言的东西就要靠平时积累.另外多了解外国的文化,对你也会有很大提高的.相信你会提高的